


Femininity

by wittyjinx



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Emotional Hurt, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eros Katsuki Yuuri, Established Katsuki Yuuri/Victor Nikiforov, Gen, Long-Haired Victor Nikiforov, M/M, Protective Yuri Plisetsky, Soft Yuri Plisetsky, Victor Nikiforov is sad, Yakov Feltsman Is So Done, Yakov Feltsman is upset, but it's got a good ending I promise, no beta we die like men, this is kind of sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-28
Updated: 2020-05-28
Packaged: 2021-03-03 02:34:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,578
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24427354
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wittyjinx/pseuds/wittyjinx
Summary: Viktor's hair used to be long...Now it's short.Here's why.---Inspired by Hands Off The Ice Tiger by MaxMattel666 - if you haven't read it, you totally should, along with all their Podium Family Fluff stuff (it's all good, I promise)
Relationships: Katsuki Yuuri & Victor Nikiforov & Yuri Plisetsky, Katsuki Yuuri/Victor Nikiforov, Victor Nikiforov & Yuri Plisetsky, Yakov Feltsman & Victor Nikiforov
Comments: 11
Kudos: 220





	Femininity

**Author's Note:**

  * For [MaxMattel666](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MaxMattel666/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Hands Off The Ice Tiger](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23668756) by [MaxMattel666](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MaxMattel666/pseuds/MaxMattel666). 



> I hope you enjoy! This was kind of fun to write, mainly because I also did the jump from long hair to short hair (not for the same reason as Viktor in this fic, but y'know) it's just interesting.

When Viktor was younger, he had long hair.

Just a fact.

He wanted to be versatile.

To look feminine to surprise his audience.

When he cut his hair, he told Yakov that he wanted it to be a surprise, just like everything else he’s ever done.

He lied.

Maybe he would’ve cut it later, when puberty hit and his muscle became defined, and he grew taller, and it would’ve been too difficult to portray the femininity that he had always valued.

Maybe he wouldn’t have. Kept it long, pulling it away from his face in a way that he couldn’t anymore, not with his fringe.

Long hair was more versatile. You could do more things with it. 

Braids, pony tails, a mix of the two or something entirely different.

No one needed to know the real reason he cut his hair.

Yakov found out eventually, as he always did. 

It was on one of the days when Viktor got drunk, lamenting over how he was unmotivated and falling lower and lower into sadness because he had no one to inspire him.

Viktor vaguely remembers telling him, the words falling from his mouth as Yakov unlocked his apartment for him. 

He remembers Yakov’s face twisting in anger, asking for a name.

Viktor didn’t know his name.

And he said so.

He remembers Yakov cursing and telling him off for not telling him immediately.

That the man is long gone, and they couldn’t arrest him.

Viktor was too out of it to even care.

Yakov was still upset, but he seemed… more caring than he was before. Guilty, almost. Maybe because the man had been upset at Viktor for changing his hair so last minute.

That night, he watched Yuuri Katsuki skate his routine, and he decided that he needed to go to Japan. Needed to find inspiration from this black haired skater who had already stolen his heart.

Yuuri Katsuki was the other person Viktor didn’t necessarily want to tell… but he owed it to Yuuri, whose voice was always soft, and full of care.

“Why did you cut your hair anyway?” Yuuri asked, coming up beside him on the balcony, running gentle fingers through his fringe.

Part of Viktor begged himself to convince Yuuri that it was to surprise his fans, as he always did when people asked.

The other, more sensible side, said that he should tell his fiancé.

So he did.

“I was walking alone. A dumb idea most of the time… but I was on the good side of town, I wasn’t drunk or high or anything. I should’ve been fine- I should’ve-” Viktor cut himself off and Yuuri placed a reassuring hand on his arm.

“Viktor, it’s okay,” he whispered, eyes widening with shock as he realized the depth of the answer he was getting.

“I should’ve been fine. But there was a man,” he started, and he could feel the tears dripping down his face.

Could he look any weaker?

Could he embarrass himself more in front of the man he loved?

He looked down at the ground. If he jumped, he would probably live. He could escape the situation. Survive another day by denying the truth.

But no.

Yuuri’s hand was warm on his back, comforting. Soft.

“There was a man. Waiting on a street corner. I turned and he was there. And he… he-” 

“Viktor, shh,” Yuuri said, rubbing gentle circles on my back.

“He grabbed my hair and used it to throw me to the ground. He was drunk, which isn’t an excuse, but… but he did and I-” Viktor choked on his words again, and Yuuri pulled him down into a hug, arms hooking around his shoulders so Viktor could cry into his shoulder.

“I had to cut it. I couldn’t… I was so weak… I couldn’t keep it long,”

“Viktor you are not weak,” Yuuri said sharply, and his eyes widened. “You are beautiful. Handsome. Amazing. You are so many things but you are not weak,” he continued.

“But I-”

“No, Viktor, listen,” Yuuri paused, his eyes closing for a split second.

“I love you,” he whispered at last, and Viktor nodded.

“No Viktor, I need you to understand,” Yuuri said, and Viktor swallowed roughly.

“Yes?” he whispered, and Yuuri smiled.

“I love you. I love you more than anything else in my life and I… I know that you are amazing, but you still don’t seem to believe that fact about yourself, and it… it breaks my heart that you don’t believe that about yourself,” he said gingerly, still rubbing soothing circles.

“There was a police officer who came by, and pulled the man off me. He was arrested, but the man didn’t even care. He just kept looking at the strands of hair that he had pulled out, watching them in the light. I couldn’t do anything. I just wandered around town for the rest of the night until I reached a hair salon. It was closed. And I waited there until it opened,” Viktor kept explaining, unable to look at Yuuri’s eyes.

“I couldn’t bring myself to look feminine anymore. Not like Yurio, who embraces it with a ferocity I never could’ve… he’s amazing,” Viktor said and Yuuri brushed his hair away from his face.

“You don’t need to look a specific way for me to love you,” he said and they embraced again, Viktor clinging to Yuuri like he was his lifeline.

His trust with Yuuri grew, beginning to feel his inspiration returning, along with the long since past feeling of… feeling beautiful?

When Yuuri skated with him. He felt beautiful.

And gentle, and everything else he wasn’t off the ice.

They lived together, Yuuri practiced ballet on the later nights, and Viktor loved watching him.

Watching his fiancé bend and fold and dance.

They slotted together like puzzle pieces, finally finding their match.

And Viktor let Yuuri braid his hair.

Yuuri’s fingers were soft.

Gentle fingering his hair and holding his hand steady when Viktor tensed.

Only continuing when Viktor relaxed.

And Viktor started to wear his hair back again, just the one short braid, but it was enough.

Enough to regain a bit of the femininity that he had lost, returned by Yuuri, who had reached down to pick it up in the form of his eros performance, wearing the costume meant to be interpreted as both male and female.

Yuuri had taken it, and placed a little bit of it back into Viktor, and Viktor couldn’t be more thankful.

The third person to find out was Yuri.

Yuuri was braiding Yuri’s hair, all gentle, long fingers as he twisted and moved.

“I miss it sometimes,” Viktor said as he admired Yuri’s longer hair, now to his shoulders.

“Then why did you cut it old man?” he snapped and Viktor froze.

“I… I had to,” he murmured softly.

“You had to? Did Yakov make you or something?” he asked, still blunt as ever, but slightly dulled by concern.

“No,” was all he said.

Yuuri tapped Yuri’s shoulder twice, a silent way of saying “stop” and Viktor relaxed a little.

Yuri didn’t need to know about his weakness. (I’m not weak, he would try to remind himself, but it was hard believing otherwise. But Yuuri insisted, and Viktor trusted Yuuri more than he trusted himself.)

Yuri could be everything Viktor wasn’t.

Feminine and soft one moment and masculine and fierce another. Then the odd mix of both. Feminine and fierce in a way Viktor never could be.

And then Yuri was harassed by fans, one of them yanking at his hair and Viktor… Viktor panicked.

He was so afraid for Yuri.

Pure fear coursing through his veins as he shook.

He was so afraid that someone had corrupted another Russian ice skater.

That Yuri was already being compared to Viktor and now… now he would end up being more like him.

But Yuri was always stronger than him.

So when Yuuri stepped out of the room to make dinner, Yuri curled up in a ball, under a mound of blankets… Viktor decided that he should tell his unofficial son.

“A while ago, when I was younger, a man grabbed my hair,” he said softly, and Yuri’s eyes widened, connecting the dots faster than Viktor could’ve imagined.

“No…”

“The man grabbed my hair and I-” he paused, taking in a shuddery breath, “I couldn’t keep it long. I threw away any femininity that I had in favor of it never happening again. Please don’t lose yourself like I did,” he said, and he could feel the harsh tears dripping down his face, carving weakness into his skin.

“Old man…?” Yuri said, his voice much gentler than Viktor remembered.

Then Yuri threw himself on the couch next to Viktor, and Viktor slowly braided his hair, being as gentle as he could.

That’s how Yuuri found them.

Viktor with tear stained red eyes, braiding a sleeping Yuri’s hair over and over and over again until he could barely move his hands.

But it was worth it in the end.

When Yuuri started to pair skate with Viktor, he went to Yuri for help. Help recovering more of the feminine aspect he had lost. Something he can show the world and be proud of. That he hadn’t lost all of himself when he cut his hair so long ago.

Yuri had scoffed, but taught him anyway.

And Viktor let himself be softer.

Finally feeling more like himself.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you all enjoyed, and I hope I did Viktor justice.
> 
> Be sure to leave a comment! I thrive on comments, and I'd honestly like to know what you thought of this.


End file.
